Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
