I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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