Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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