Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
