Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
