Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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