i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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