I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize