I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
