If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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