This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
