we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
