I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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