I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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