Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
