is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
me + whiskey = a bad person
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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