I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
