I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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