summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
