tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
