its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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