my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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