he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
