She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
