Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
