In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize