i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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