dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
