Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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