mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
