She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?