dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.