the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
even my farts smell like vagina
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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