So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
