How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
