My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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