mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize