So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
