I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
