She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will be naked everywhere
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
