marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
