he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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