So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
