I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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