All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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