Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize