Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
