I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
