how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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