my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.