i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis