11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
