I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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