A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
