Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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