can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
