so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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