dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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