just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
