pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
