Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
