you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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