your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
