I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
