The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
