Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
